May the schwartz be with you

May the schwartz be with you: Steve Jobs Lightsaber Battle in Antennagate!

Apple founder Steve Jobs has been busy defending the iPhone 4, which has been mired in problems since before its launch. The latest scandal to crop up, dubbed “Antennagate,” is so-named because the phone’s antenna gets poor reception if the phone is held the wrong way. Check out this awesome animation from NMANews explain Antennagate, while showing an epic lightsaber battle between Steve Jobs and Microsoft’s Bill Gates. Jobs also has some rather impressive Force lightning skills. Translated: Apple’s founder Jobs helped the company reach billions in revenue – thanks to the iPod & the iPhone’s success. (lightsabre scene) Apple seems to be even bigger than Microsoft right now, and Jobs is becoming a leader in cutting edge technology. But some say, the bigger Jobs gets, the more evil he becomes. (Force field appears) When Gizmondo got a hold of the iPhone 4 model, Jobs ordered the police to search…

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What if Luke Skywalker missed?

Luke snatches defeat from the jaws of victory in this re-edit of “A New Hope” After boasting to the more experienced pilots of Red Squadron, he arrives late for the attack, disobeys orders and ignores Obi-Wan’s repeated pleas to use the force. Han Solo is not impressed with Luke and must now deal with a vengeful Darth Vader and all Red Five can do is watch from above as the veteran Red Leader calmly demonstrates the correct way to fire a proton torpedo down a thermal exhaust port. Mark Dury mixed dialogue from the original trilogy with the Death Star scene in A New Hope, turning Luke into a worthless moron who can do nothing but watch as someone else picks up his slack.

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May the schwartz be with you: Entire Star Wars “The Empire Strikes Back” in MS Paint [GIF]

Earlier this month, we posted Entire Star Wars “A New Hope” in MS Paint. After a hefty debate on DIGG, it came to our attention that the creator of this little jewel was a guy name foldsfive. Foldsfive, with the civil name David Court ultimately joined the discussion on DIGG and shared that there were more treasures to be found around on the internet. Sometimes I find myself amazed by the internet. How something I made an age ago can suddenly pick up interest again. It was something I made for fun (as an experiment to see whether I could do it, more than anything) for a site (www.b3ta.com) that wouldn’t post anything bigger than 250k. I did it all from memory, so the stuff about my incorrect lightsabre colours couldn’t interest me less. (and jesus wept, people accuse ME of not having a life for making it). At the end of the day doing that stuff donkeys…

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Dead Tauntaun Wedding Cake!

(501st Great Lakes Garrison troopers – Jon Leopold and Craig Provine guard the Tauntaun cake!) Look at that detail! This is so gross, yet so damn cool. If I ever get married again, I would only do it to get a frikkin’ freakierer cake than this. Like, instead of a tauntaun, it would be a giant hairless albino monkey with Ringo Starr’s face, and… and his guts would be snakes with the faces of Yoko Ono and Margaret Thatcher and Sarah Palin and Madonna, and instead of Luke it would be David Bowie wearing Princess Leia’s metal bikini. Julie and I had Courtney Clark from Cake Nouveau of Food Network Challenge (and TLC Ultimate Cake-Off) fame do our wedding cakes including a special cake request from me — Luke Skywalker stuffed inside a dead Tauntaun! It was certainly one of the talks of the wedding evening. Older relatives were a…

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May the schwartz be with you: Baroque Star Wars

Sweden-based artist Mattias Adolfsson creates Baroque–style portraits (think wigs and Steampunk gears with a cartoony twist) of Darth Vader, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, Luke Sylkwalker, C-3PO and R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and even the Death Star and the AT-AT! The Death Star Also known as the deadly croissant Han Solo being harassed by the puritan police Darth Vader A timeless fashion statement (you just can’t go wrong with black) Stormtrooper Fighting in style Imperial walker Bobba Fett Chewbacca Contrary to beliefs Chewbacca uses his own hair not a wig Princess Leia C-3PO and R2 D2 R2 D2 is not as sophisticated as to warrant a wig the Emperor Jabba the powdered Yoda and Introducing as Luke Skywalker: Linnaeus the botanist supreme

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May the schwartz be with you: Slave Leia Splashdown – Star Wars Charity Car Wash

Now here’s a trend that needs to catch on – and quickly. G4 hosted a car wash staffed by cute girls in Star Wars costumes, mostly Slave Leia. For a small price, a harem of Slave Leias acted extra slutty with each other, and may have even washed your car, if the below video is to be believed. The event benefited the Make-a-Wish Foundation and men throughout the world. I feel very dirty right now. Oops, I mean my car is very dirty right now. behind the scenes:

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May the schwartz be with you: Star Wars-Inspired Vintage Travel Posters

Thanks to io9, we just discovered artist Justin van Genderen’s minimalist takes on planets and places of the original Star Wars Galaxy. While the vintage graphic design trend is nothing new, and in fact, Zazzle created a series of Star Wars WPA-inspired travel posters last spring, it’s also something that we never tire of. Our inner Stars Wars geek wishes that van Genderen had included Coruscant and Naboo in his series, but he had over 450 fictional planets to choose from. We’ll forgive him this time.

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Feudal Japanese Star Wars Art

Artist Steve Bialik represents legendary Star Wars characters as samurai from traditional Japanese art. Darth Vader and Jabba The Hutt are a lot less scary when they are illustrated as a bald dude in a mask and a giant bullfrog. Obi-Wan Kenobi Yoda Han Solo & Chewbacca the Oni Boba Fett Darth Vader Emperor Palpatine Jabba the Hutt

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